I'm a firm believer in looking back at your past and reflecting. Call it dwelling, but, at least for me, I think analyzing past decisions is really important for self-improvement. No one is perfect, and no one ever will be, but does that mean we should all stop trying? It makes me think about this quote Rue says [remembering what her sponsor, Ali, said to her] in Euphoria (yes, I watch Euphoria.): "The thought of maybe being a good person, keeps me trying to be a good person." At the end of the day, we can only try, but really, I think that's the best thing anyone can do. Many can do what comes easily to them, but those who actively try, are the ones fighting the real battles. To me, there are no fully good or fully bad people. There are plenty of good people who make bad decisions and there are bad people who make good ones. So does that mean that everyone is good? Or that everyone is bad? Who knows. The real question is what drives a good person to make bad decisions? I mean, what even are bad decisions? For the sake of keeping everyone on the same page, let's say a bad decision is any decision that does more harm than good to another person. My theory to why good people make some bad decisions is simple: emotions. We are all human, we all have emotions, and every day we are learning how to correctly deal with them. I am guilty of suppressing my emotions and it's gotten me into a lot of difficult situations. Suppressing them doesn't make them go away and soon, you get to the point where it's overflowing. Then, you have no choice but to do something about it. And anyone who has gone through what I am talking about knows that making decisions when in an overly emotional state isn't the smartest idea. Your judgement is clouded, you're suffering, and all you can think about is finding a way for it to stop. So, sometimes, you do the wrong thing. One could argue that anyone "smart and mature" would know not to act so irrational; to take a step back and make the right decision. And that's not wrong. I mean, that would be the logical thing to do. But, can you really say that you've never been under so much pressure that you called the wrong shot? Said the wrong thing? Took the wrong step? I am in no way excusing hurtful behavior, but I think there is a lot more to a person than the decisions they make. I think that a lot of people are going through different things both emotionally and mentally, so it's unfair to judge from the outside looking in. And more importantly, if they admit their faults and are actively trying to be better, they deserve a chance to be forgiven. Earlier, I said that I don't believe there are no fully good or fully bad people, and I don't. But if there was, I think what separates a good person from a bad person is the effort put in to truly self-improve. If a person genuinely owns up to their mistakes, takes responsibility for what they did, and makes the choices to be better, I truly believe that they should be given a chance to be forgiven. I definitely don’t believe in empty apologies, but I also don't think one decision should shape the way people see us forever. We are constantly growing and learning every single day and sometimes people makes mistakes. As someone who most struggled with it growing up, admitting you're wrong can be a really difficult thing for some. To put your ego aside, openly speak about your mistakes, and ask for forgiveness is something not many can do. And the action of admitting fault is the first step in becoming a better person, or at least trying to be a better person. And all we can really do is try. Right? Author's Note: Thank you for reading this far, please be sure to discuss your ideas respectfully in the comments. I would love to hear your thoughts. This was something I've been thinking about lately.
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